Baseball positions

A friend of ours was talking to the boys this afternoon and asked what position they like to play in baseball.

"Third base," Benjamin told her.

"I like to play catcher," John Stephen added.

Then from under the table William chimes in, "My favorite position is batter!"

I'll be sure to let Coach Paul know.

Hot girl

"Jake is the 2nd most popular kid in school!" John Stephen announced as he got in the car after school.

"Yeah?" I responded, hoping he'd tell me more.

"Yeah, the hottest girl in 4th grade likes him!" he added.

William chimed in trying to be part of the big boys' conversation, "Yeah, the sweatiest girl in 4th grade likes him!"

"It's a different kind of hot, William," added Benjamin.

Funny

William was sneaking up on me by crawling on the floor.  Of course, I saw him coming so I beat him to it by making a sudden, loud noise and grabbing his back.

"Hey!" he said in a startled voice.

"Ha ha ha, I got you first!" I told him in my silly, sinister voice.

"That's not funny!" he argued as I began to tickle him.

"Of course it's funny and you know it," I insisted.

"No it's not because you are laughing and I was screaming," he told me as he wiggled around in my lap to avoid laughing at the situation.

Logs

I came home from the grocery store after Scott had already put the boys to bed.  But as I sat down, John Stephen came sneaking out of his room.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I can't sleep," he said.  "William is chopping logs and he's so loud!"

"Wow!  Most people just saw logs," I laughingly informed him.

Saliva

Benjamin and John Stephen were discussing exactly how Fun Dip works.

"Why do you have to lick the stick?" John Stephen asked.

"Your saliva makes the dip stick to the dipper," Benjamin told him.

There was a little more talk about "saliva" and finally I said, "Benjamin, I think you're the only kid that says saliva instead of spit!"

"Well, spit is projectile, and saliva is just floating around in your mouth!" he informed me.

Grumpy

"Did you play with Tyler this weekend at the camp-out?" I asked Benjamin.  Tyler is a girl in his class that tagged along with her brother for the Cub Scout camp-out.

"No," he told me.

"She was kind of grumpy this weekend," Scott chimed in.

"Oh, that's too bad," I said.  "Girls do that sometimes."

"Why?" John Stephen asked.

"To make boys feel really WEIRD!" William blurted out!  Wise beyond his years!  Ha!

Advisor

William ran errands with me ALL day today.  He was awesome!  He didn't complain once, but I knew he had had enough.

"Thank you for being such a great helper today!  I looooove you sooooo much!" I told him as I shot him a big smile from the front seat of the car.

I turned to take a peek at him and he had a blank look on his face.  "You're not so sure about me, huh?" I asked.

"Well, I do love you… but I don't think I helped with anything," he said.

"Oh, sure you did!  You helped keep me company and you helped me look at things," I told him.

"Yeah, but it's not like I advised you or anything," he said bluntly.


Hahaha!  What 5 year old says "advised"?!